A few days later...

November 12, 2012

Well hello there!  After a few days of being at home, during which we've been trying to rest and get situated and just get better, I thought it might be good to get in touch with those of you who we haven't been able to see.  Thanks so much to those of you who have been able to drop by and hang out and for all the gifts that have shown up and meals that you've brought and love that you've shown.

First things first, we got a call from the surgeon about 4 minutes ago and found out that the final pathology came back clean! That means that there was no cancer found in the lymph nodes, there was nothing found in the left breast and the actual tumor they removed in the right side was actually about .4cm smaller than originally thought.  YEAH!!!!!!!!!!

That was just a wonderful thing to hear and you should see her right now...big ol' grin on her face, smiling, sayin "yay!" every 12 seconds.  She's a happy girl!

Its been a long weekend, mostly good, some bad. Friday night I began the meds regimen with setting alarms on my phone for the every 2 hours of narcotic dosing and the IB Profen every 4 hours and such. Friday night was so-so in terms of getting back to sleep after every alarm, Saturday was really good and last night was pretty terrible.  Overall we are super tired, for obvious reasons but it is really nice that we dont have to do anything.  We've burned through a lot of movies, a good friend of ours brought over some jigsaw puzzles which we are going to start on in a few minutes and so many people have stopped by just to visit.  Its been a little tough for little miss hostess to just sit and let others serve her and entertain themselves, but very good for her at the same time.

She and I dont quite see eye to eye on what an appropriate level of activity is for right now because she is rarin' to get into more trouble that I think is really good for her.  The problem is that the mind is willing but the body isn't able.  She is bored and uncomfortable, but her body really just needs to be sitting and getting good nutrition and relaxing...I'm not saying I blame her at all though.

Pain meds are interesting, as I mentioned she makes a terrible druggie - she just doesnt like the weird feeling and the sense of falling and the "out of it" sensation that she gets from this painkiller.  She also doesnt like the pain, so she is learning to deal with it all.

Here is something that one doesn't think about when facing a double mastectomy - narcotics will plug you up like a tennis ball in a garden hose.  By Saturday night she hadn't taken the browns to the super bowl since Tuesday and she was miserable...by the way, I have permission to tell this story...so we started pumping her full of prune juice, milk of magnesia, stool softeners, laxatives and other fibrous things and after about 18 minutes of pitching and rolling like Ahab in a Nor'easter she gave birth to the largest turd I have ever seen. Think cantaloupe.

She was so dang relieved, it was so cute.  She had actually started feeling flu-like by Saturday because she hadn't gone and there were so many toxins from surgery and the drugs and painkillers and stuff that had just been sitting in her body for 4 days, thats how bad it was!

The small things you never think of...I mean, really.

So - this has been such a roller coaster because so much good has come from this in terms of relationships, our marriage, our ability to be open and share and help others and accept help from others and just be together, but so much has sucked obviously.  This is the scariest thing that either of us have ever experienced, hands down. It has been full of question, worry, wonder, fear, trepidation, tears, and so on, but its brought us so close its ridiculous.  I get to take care of her and help her and love all up on her and give her a shower and brush her teeth and help her get dressed and I really like it.  I wish she didnt have to do it, but lets find the silver lining eh?

We have really enjoyed getting to see so many friends and catch up with folks and be with people.  That's been wonderful for sure!

Its been tough to be honest, but its been good.  We would appreciate prayers for rest, relaxation, for quality sleep and her comfort.  Its getting less and less comfortable for her to sleep on her back which is obviously the only option so that's kinda tough.  We however will persevere!  She is so tough, and is getting better by the day.  

I'm a little worried because we have to drive to Denver tomorrow for the post-op which will make for a long day, but she's in a much better place to do that drive than she was last Friday so I have my hope that it will impact her much less.

Thank you all so much for the literally 100's of texts, emails, FB "likes", notes, messages and phone calls that you've sent our direction, we so appreciate it! We are slowly but surely moving forward, even though sometimes we get a few setbacks.  2 steps forward for 1 step back...that's ok!

Much love AND...check your boobies. Or your wife's boobies.  Or the woman next to you on the plane.  Wait...never mind, bad idea. Keep it g-rated folks...have a great day!

Jeydrienne